I am supposed to sit down and write a letter, telling everything good that’s happening here, lifting up Christ and thanking Him for everything He’s done . . . and I will. I am supposed to remind you how grateful I am to be here; and, of course, I am. But what I cannot hide is the heartbreak. While I do love every moment I spend here, while I would not be anywhere else for anything in the world, staying here brings a constant reminder right in front of my face—the laborers are few. I have stayed and tried to help carry my share of the load, but there are certain things Daniel did that I can never do. This week as I was reading, I was reminded about God.
“God isn’t looking for strong people who can help Him out. God is looking for people who are fully aware of their weaknesses and willing to place themselves in His hands so that He gets the glory for what they accomplish in His power. God delights in using unlikely people in His work.” Paul said, “For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of this world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence.” (I Corinthians 1:26-29)
I am learning that God likes it when our circumstances look impossible. He likes it when nothing looks like it is going well, when we are heartbroken and don’t know how we can make it one more day, because it is when circumstances look impossible that He gets the most glory. I remember as a 16-year-old girl reminding God that I was just one girl in this world, but for whatever it was worth, I promised Him He could have all of me. I promised Him I would serve Him with everything in me. And that is where I stand today: “God, I’m just one person. I’m learning to breathe, survive, and live without Daniel. What can I possible do for You?” He whispers back, “Stay faithful.” Through the heartbreak, the tears, the pain, I promise Him to live one more day to love the people He has sent me to serve and to do everything I can to further the cause of Christ.
Through the tears, we see His mighty hand at work. A week and a half ago, we had to move a divider to make more room in church. Our auditorium is packed out almost weekly now. That Sunday, God sent 231 people into the doors of Iglesia Bautista Internacional, and 14 of those walked out that day with their eternal destination changed. Once sinners headed for Hell, they now have the security of a future home in Heaven. In our teen church last Friday night, we had 43 teenagers. On the inside, I feel like my heart is bleeding, knowing how ecstatic Daniel would be to have our teen room packed out like it is, and on the outside, I smile, because God likes taking the impossible and turning it into His miracle.
Trusting His heart,